My Day On A Plate. 

Wake up around 7am. (Unless weekend when it’s 7pm). Consider oven chips with fried egg for breakfast. Realise that’s ludicrous so finish off Chinese from night before. Guddle in floordrobe for cleanish garments.  9am – Bit of housework to keep on top of things. Pick up panty liner stuck to bedroom carpet from Monday. Dust glass … [Read more…]

Is it only Tuesday?

Oh god it’s all kicking off in the Celeb Big Brother house. Alicia’s been hiding bananas and that’s not a euphemism. She’s crying as we speak. About the banana hiding I assume. I turned Big Brother on by accident. That’s not a weird euphemism either.  So today happened. So that’s good, innit? Lucky to have … [Read more…]

In the beginning.

I’ve decided to blog. The first few posts will be lazily fashioned Frankensteins’ monsters of all the old toot I’ve posted on Facebook over the years. Not the “watching Big Brother” or “eating toast” ones – no no no – I’ll only publish the ones that’ve proved to be popular with the populace; a phrase … [Read more…]