Don’t bother reading this. It reeks of desperation and barrel scraping. Not much to report today. Busy day in gainful employment so let’s all thank The Lord Harry for that, as an ex mother-in-law was wont to say, which made my eyeballs swivel all the way to the back of my head in crabbitness.  Had […]

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It doesn’t take much to ruin my day. Yesterday, in my quest to shop local, I thought I’d patronise a local independent takeaway and purchase a cappuccino. I can only ever order cappuccino in the mornings, ever mindful that in Italy I’d be scorned for ordering such a thing at any other time of the […]

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Wake up around 7am. (Unless weekend when it’s 7pm). Consider oven chips with fried egg for breakfast. Realise that’s ludicrous so finish off Chinese from night before. Guddle in floordrobe for cleanish garments.  9am – Bit of housework to keep on top of things. Pick up panty liner stuck to bedroom carpet from Monday. Dust glass […]

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Oh god it’s all kicking off in the Celeb Big Brother house. Alicia’s been hiding bananas and that’s not a euphemism. She’s crying as we speak. About the banana hiding I assume. I turned Big Brother on by accident. That’s not a weird euphemism either.  So today happened. So that’s good, innit? Lucky to have […]

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I’ve decided to blog. The first few posts will be lazily fashioned Frankensteins’ monsters of all the old toot I’ve posted on Facebook over the years. Not the “watching Big Brother” or “eating toast” ones – no no no – I’ll only publish the ones that’ve proved to be popular with the populace; a phrase […]

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