I’ve started watching stuff on Amazon Prime at last. Found Transparent Seasons 1 and 2 to be particularly enjoyable and practically perfect in every way and can thoroughly recommend same.  I proclaimed loudly to Mrs ‘Baps as we lounged in bed binge-watching Season 2 that it was possibly the best tv I’d ever laid eyes […]

Read more

 Tuesday: my lunchtime Post Office queue* induced fury was offset by the euphoria of being able to touch-type lackadaisical in an email without any errors, and the miracle of my metabolism having somehow managed to convince my body to shed a pound over the festive season, despite rollercoaster dieting which lurched between living on dust […]

Read more

Went aurora hunting. Freezing. No aurora. Stars lovely. Came back. Ate two crackers. Indulged in moderate self loathing. Donned nightie. Fired up Kindle. Got distracted. Fired up Amazon. Got distracted. Fired up Instagram. Got distracted. Fired up Facebook. Got distracted.  Mulled over some new hypochondria for 2016 eg borderline personality disorder.  Harboured neggy thoughts about […]

Read more

So Hannah and Ross get married TOMORROW! I can hardly believe it’s here already. It’s a very exciting and happy family occasion and a chance to dress up like a flea hook as my mother used to say – which I’m guessing is a reference to fishing flies but may of course be wrong. She […]

Read more

My top ten predictions for 2016: Compulsory organ donations for anyone sharing “Free £50 Tesco vouchers” on Facebook. They don’t need their brains so we’ll harvest them first, although Christ knows what we’ll do with them.  The beard thing will FINALLY be over. All the dudes with carefully cultivated hipster beards will be forced to […]

Read more

This post isn’t really about comets.  I’m struggling to type this. Not because it’s a difficult subject matter, but because I liberally applied Clarin’s Haute Exigence Nuit Super Restorative Night Cream all over my parched face last night and it’s in my eyes. Everything looks like Doris Day – all dreamy and soft focus.  I […]

Read more

Part Two: That bloody elf thing. Where’s the bloody elf or whatever the shit it’s called. NOBODY BLADDY CARES. Who started this nonsense? Any referral to sparkling wine as “bubbly”.  This effing diet.  Security questions on websites. Fuck! Chummy “live chat” with customer advisers where you go round in bloody circles getting nowhere and get […]

Read more

Things I’m sick to the back teeth of: Not winning £300,000 on scratchcards.  That bloody light coming on in the bloody car – YOU DON’T NEED A BLOODY LAMBDA SENSOR. STFU AND LET’S HEAR NO MORE ABOUT IT OR I’LL TRADE YOU IN.  Storm Desmond. In a tradition stretching back to Hurricane Bawbag, I propose […]

Read more

I’ve a free weekend for the first time since about 1978. I’m quite excited about the prospect of a whole Sunday of nowhere to be and nobody to have to talk to (that’s not an invitation for my phone to ring off the bloody hook thank you).  I’ve no work to be at, no social […]

FOLLOW

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: